Saturday, April 27, 2013

The horror of a wet suit

My first outdoor Triathlon of the season is coming up 2 weeks from today.  It's in Muncie, Indiana.  On May 11th.  In Indiana.  Outdoor.  In Indiana.  On May 11th.

I'm repeating this over and over because the facts on their own didn't mean much to me.  I registered for a Tri.  On May 11th.  In Indiana.  Outdoors.

Add these all up and one finally realizes the following:

May 11th is pretty early in the Triathlon Season.
Muncie, Indiana isn't really that far north.
An outdoor Triathlon means you need to do all the sports...outdoors.
Swimming outdoors means swimming in an outdoor reservoir or lake.  In Indiana.  On May 11th.
Water in outdoor reservoirs or lakes in Indiana on May 11th will be FREAKING COLD!!!
Swimming in FREAKING COLD water requires a wetsuit.
Fat girls shouldn't wear wet suits.
This fat girl doesn't own a wet suit, so I am borrowing one from an acquaintance   I'm hoping her extra height will compensate for my extra width.
I'm going to have to get into a wet suit.
Holy crap.

There are things that can not be unseen.

Of course, every website or How To video has some size 2 surfer chick with washboard abs and no cellulite demonstrating the procedure.

Oh the humanity.






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