Blah blah blah...seasonal depression.
Blah blah blah...sleep issues.
Blah blah blah...allergy issues.
Blah blah blah.
Excuses is all I have been making for myself for the last 2 months. I went from working out 5-6 days a week to sedentary. I've been justifying it with excuse after excuse.
Was planning on going on the group run this morning at 7:30. Woke up in plenty of time. Bed wasn't particularly comfy. No reason to not get up and go. Except I didn't.
I turned 44 this week. Told myself that I would spend my 45th year doing what I needed to do to get to where I want to be. Then had soup in a bread bowl for dinner. Ate it all. And 1/2 of my son's. And I didn't work out. Oh, don't forget the cheesecake. I'll start tomorrow.
"Tomorrow" was spent in the car for a round trip visit to Cleveland. Pizza for lunch and a grilled Pot-Roast sandwich for dinner. Book ended with cheesecake. I'll start tomorrow.
"Tomorrow 2.0" was Thanksgiving. Nuff said. I'll start tomorrow.
"Tomorrow: The end is near" was pie for breakfast, leftovers for lunch, dinner and dessert out. I'll start tomorrow.
Tomorrow is now today. I stepped on the scale and realized I gained back 7 lbs since the beginning of September. The weight is creeping back up like it has done almost every fall for the last 5 years.
This shit stops now.
I am so angry at this completely vicious cycle that I have been on. January through September working my ass off to let it all go for a few months and have to start over.
I'm so pissed I want to cry.
But instead, I'm going to commit to possible public humiliation, and completely over-reach my physical limitations.
Here's what I'm going to do:
1) I'm going to lose 45 lbs by my 45th birthday. 45by45. And this time, I'm not going to fail. This time, when I plateau at a 25lb loss, I'm going to beat the shit out of it.
2) I'm going to do a half-IronMan distance Tri.
I have 360 days to meet the first goal.
I have 181 days to meet the second goal.
I will write about it whether I feel inspired or not.
I will allow myself to complain, but I will not give up.
I will want to quit but am counting on those I know, love, admire and idolize to chastise, motivate and encourage me to continue.
I will eat cheesecake, but as an occasional indulgence and not a staple.
I will irritate the crap out of my husband, but I hope he will love me anyway.
I will forget to unclip from my bike, but...nothing really...I will forget to unclip from my bike.
Here I go!