Saturday, November 30, 2013

This S%#* Stops Now!

Blah blah blah...seasonal depression.
Blah blah blah...sleep issues.
Blah blah blah...allergy issues.

Blah blah blah.

Excuses is all I have been making for myself for the last 2 months.  I went from working out 5-6 days a week to sedentary.  I've been justifying it with excuse after excuse.

Was planning on going on the group run this morning at 7:30.  Woke up in plenty of time.  Bed wasn't particularly comfy.  No reason to not get up and go.  Except I didn't.

I turned 44 this week.  Told myself that I would spend my  45th year doing what I needed to do to get to where I want to be.  Then had soup in a bread bowl for dinner.  Ate it all.  And 1/2 of my son's.  And I didn't work out.  Oh, don't forget the cheesecake.  I'll start tomorrow.

"Tomorrow" was spent in the car for a round trip visit to Cleveland.  Pizza for lunch and a grilled Pot-Roast sandwich for dinner.  Book ended with cheesecake.  I'll start tomorrow.

"Tomorrow 2.0" was Thanksgiving.  Nuff said.  I'll start tomorrow.

"Tomorrow: The end is near" was pie for breakfast, leftovers for lunch, dinner and dessert out.  I'll start tomorrow.

Tomorrow is now today.  I stepped on the scale and realized I gained back 7 lbs since the beginning of September.   The weight is creeping back up like it has done almost every fall for the last 5 years.

This shit stops now.

I am so angry at this completely vicious cycle that I have been on.  January through September working my ass off to let it all go for a few months and have to start over.

I'm so pissed I want to cry.

But instead, I'm going to commit to possible public humiliation, and completely over-reach my physical limitations.

Here's what I'm going to do:

1)  I'm going to lose 45 lbs by my 45th birthday.  45by45.  And this time, I'm not going to fail.  This time, when I plateau at a 25lb loss, I'm going to beat the shit out of it.

2)  I'm going to do a half-IronMan distance Tri.

I have 360 days to meet the first goal.

I have 181 days to meet the second goal.

I will write about it whether I feel inspired or not.
I will allow myself to complain, but I will not give up.
I will want to quit but am counting on those I know, love, admire and idolize to chastise, motivate and encourage me to continue.
I will eat cheesecake, but as an occasional indulgence and not a staple.
I will irritate the crap out of my husband, but I hope he will love me anyway.
I will forget to unclip from my bike, but...nothing really...I will forget to unclip from my bike.

Here I go!


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